Navigating the complexities of children’s behaviours (biting, hitting, kicking, swearing, snatching) can be incredibly challenging, especially when families are feeling overwhelmed, tired, and stressed. Many parents may feel at a loss about where to start in addressing their child’s behavioural issues or may find it difficult to imagine that their child that appears so calm at home, may be showing signs of stress and frustration in a classroom environment.
As educators, we have a crucial role in providing clear guidance and an easy to understand action plan to support families effectively.
Understanding and Preparation
Gather Evidence: Gather clear, objective observations about the child’s behaviour, noting dates, times, and specific instances. This will help in discussing specific concerns with clarity.
Understand the Context: Consider any external factors that might influence the child's behaviour, such as family dynamics, developmental stages, premature birth, recent moved family home, new sibling born, and/or health issues. This broader perspective can offer insights into potential triggers or challenges the child faces.
Set the Meeting Tone: Arrange a discussion in a private, quiet, and comfortable setting to ensure that the conversation remains positive and focused on growth and support. In this quiet environment have a notepad for family to write down key information, offer a cup of tea or light snack, especially if they've come from a busy day at work.
Engagement Tips
Start Positively: Always begin by acknowledging the child’s strengths and recent successes. Reinforce that the objective is to support the child in all aspects of their development, including social skills.
Express Empathy: Recognise that discussing one's child can be stressful. Reassure parents that needing support is normal and that their child, like all children, has unique areas where help may be needed, and it's through a strong community that we can all work together for the best interest of their child.
Use Non-Confrontational Language: Avoid labels or clinical terms that could cause defensiveness. Focus on describing the behaviours and their impacts rather than labelling the child with terms such as autism, ADHD, anxiety, etc.
Be Specific: Provide concrete examples of observed behaviours and explain why these might be problematic in educational or social settings from their child's perspective. For example, we know that you would love for your child to form strong friendships, that's why we want to improve their self-regulation skills at kindergarten and at home, so instead of snatching toys from their peers, they can build, play and work together with fun rather than conflict.
Listen Actively: Allow parents the space to share their views without judgment. What are their child's interests at home? What settles their child at home? What motivates their child at home? When their child gets frustrated and snatches at home, is there a strategy that they could teach your team? This openness and teamwork between your team and family can reveal underlying concerns, misconceptions, what's currently working and not working, and most importantly giving the family open ended questions with opportunity to share what is working for them affirms your respect for their perspective.
Discussing the Behaviour Support Plan
Explain the Plan: Explain what a behaviour support plan is and the benefits of everyone being on the same page to support their child with their difficulties right now and also their goals for the next 6 months and 12 months.
Clarify the Plan: Detail the components of the behaviour support plan, including goals, strategies, and expected outcomes. Emphasise how these measures are designed to enhance the child’s social skills and overall confidence. It's a positive document that will help your team and family support each other. It's not a punishment or negative document like we used to experience in our school days years ago.
Highlight Benefits: Stress that the plan is proactive and personalised, crafted specifically to support their child’s success. The plan is designed to reduce the stress on their child, so that their child feels confident, safe and supported, not in trouble or penalised for needing support.
Involve Parents: Engage them in the process of creating and refining the plan and discuss how they can apply these strategies at home to provide consistency.
Address Concerns: If parents express denial or discomfort, reassure them of the effectiveness and purpose of behaviour support plans in supporting children’s development. Reassure them that children are learning, and like all of us learning a new skill, we need strategies, goals, and expectations so we can reach our potential and feel confident and supported in our learning environment.
Share Success Stories: Mention real-life examples (without identifying information) where similar plans have led to positive changes in children’s behaviours, enhancing their ability to engage and learn, and feel confident and form positive connections with peers and educators.
Follow-Up
Provide Resources: Offer additional reading materials, contacts for support groups, or workshops that can help parents feel more equipped and informed. Have this ready for the family before the meeting. For example, if you know the child would benefit from more social engagement, get a brochure for the local library, or find a website link for a local music and movement or gymnastics program that family can enrol in straight away while waiting for allied health support.
Schedule Future Meetings: Set a follow-up meeting with an agreed time and date in 1 week, 2 weeks or 3 weeks time to discuss the child’s progress, answer any of the family's questions, and make any necessary adjustments to the plan.
Encourage Ongoing Communication: Keep communication lines open with check ins via phone, email or note, letting parents know they can reach out with any concerns or questions, and celebrate small wins by giving family positive feedback when they drop off or pick up their child.
Where to Begin?
For families unsure of where to start with getting their child support:
Paediatrician: For an overall health review or specific behavioural concerns.
Speech Pathologist or Occupational Therapist: If there are concerns about communication, focus, self-regulation or sensory issues.
NDIS Early Intervention Application: To access potential allied health support services as paying for these services privately could be stressful. Children don't need a diagnosis to apply for this funding in early childhood, so it's always a great start if the child needs a range of allied health support.
Maternal Health Nurse: For guidance and support in early development stages reach out to your local maternal health nurse. They could provide support for where to begin as well, and they are a wealth of knowledge for local social skills, play and movement activities in the local community.
PlayMoveImprove.com.au: For resources on self-regulation, play, and motor development strategies access the Play Move Improve website. There are free downloads with activity ideas for families and educators.
Let's work together to empower our families with the knowledge and tools they need to support their children effectively. If you need further support we have a behaviour support plan webinar here.
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